Thank you so much for your support about PTSD

by Jacque Gonzales

I can’t tell you all how much your messages of encouragement on my previous post regarding PTSD have meant to me!  Thank you so much.

PTSD does not define who I am. It just happens to be a component of who I am.

There are several components to what’s caused my PTSD (or as my doctors have said that I have CPTSD – Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – which has not formally been listed as a diagnosis, yet.).  The majority stem from childhood.  Others came about in my adult years.

However, it’s something I’ve always dealt with – and it’s never caused any issues with working – I’ve never allowed it to.  It’s just nice to be able to freely talk about it now that I feel so much stronger.  It’s cathartic – both in helping myself vocalize it -AND- hopefully helping anyone who needs to know that they’re not alone.

Several of you suggested EMDR treatments (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) in your comments.  I tried it over 10 years ago – but I couldn’t focus on the sound that I thought was “right” – so I never felt I was doing it correctly.  Maybe I should look into it again?  A lot could have changed in 10 years with EMDR.  I’ve also done TMS treatments (Transcranial magnetic stimulation) – that I believe helped a little but it was too costly to continue.

Working on getting stress levels down is my top priority.  Stress builds up and up and up over the years – and living that way isn’t living.  So many people are stressed out – from work, family, health, life, etc……and we need to have time to just step back and breathe.  There are things that are not worth being stressed over – but we might not have an option.  Finding any small step to bring happiness into your life should be where you start your focus.

Think about it for a moment:  What puts an instant smile on your face when you think about it? 

Try to think about those things, or incorporating more of those things into your life.  Even if it’s just pictures, videos, sounds, or scents that relate to that happy emotion.

I think that’s why Art Therapy has been so helpful to me.  It’s creative and allows your mind to open up and create anything.  You don’t have to know what you’re drawing – just start drawing!  You could start with a single line on a page – or a circle. Anything.  From there, you’ll see something you could create from that form.  Certified Art Therapists and Psycholgists can then help you interpret your art.  It’s really amazing.  When you start to see the meanings into your own drawings – it’s a big eye opener.

I haven’t been drawing lately.  I need to kick myself into gear and get started again.  Sometimes buying a new drawing pad or colored pencils gets me going!  Yes, I enjoy shopping!  And if you know of some great art supplies OR projects that I should try please let me know!  (Are the Prismacolor pencils as good as everyone says they are???) 

I want you to know ME – the REAL ME.  So, I’ll be sharing things about myself from time to time – but it will not be the focus of what you’re going to find here.

Thank you again – and remember that each and everyone of you are amazing.

I’m Blessed to know all of you.
💜 Jacque

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Dan Shannon April 27, 2018 - 12:23 PM

Jacque, I’m just now reading this…one of my former Commercial Art instructors from Houston Community College, Sharon Hendry, is now retired and conducts Art Therapy classes in Galveston…when I was in her classes in the 1990s I suspected she was dealing with some serious issues (though I’ve never asked her about it since recently finding her on Facebook). Before that I’d never heard of Art Therapy, but I guess it helps those who have PTSD and other mental-emotional “battles”.

Toni Brown September 13, 2017 - 1:31 AM

What a sweet ray of sunshine you are. Thank- you, Jacque. I’ ve always felt like my stress was imagined because for years , when I said I stressed or upset, people said I did not have anything to be stressed about. So I believed them & hid my feelings. People would say I was the least stressed person they knew. Consequently, I ended up internalizing so much that I ended up with GERD & IBS . I don’ t yell & throw things. I just keep everything bottled up. My Dr said I was a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. I thought ” I am not. I ‘m keeping these feelings in so I won’ t feel embarrassed again by being told I don’t have stress or that I’ m weird for letting things bother me.” Life is full of problems & stresses, but we need people supporting us to get through them. The last straw was this Summer my hair started falling out. Dr said it was from stress — the stress others said I don’t have. I’ m still not to the point I feel comfortable verbalizing my problems, but seeing that I’ m not alone is heartwarming. Thank- you so much ,Jacque , for your blog . Praying for strength. & healing for you. Bless your heart. You have no idea how much you’ re helping & blessing others . Love you bunches.-Toni Brown

Monica August 19, 2017 - 4:24 PM

Jacque you inspire us all. Life is full of hardships and you speaking of yours helps so many! I do wonder why you won’t say why you left qvc?! I think it’s a part of your story that we’ve all been involved with and would like to know! You are so loved!

Barbara August 18, 2017 - 12:48 AM

Jacque, I love your honesty and willingness to share. Please know that we believe in you and know that you will continue to fight. God Bless you and your family.

Jacque August 17, 2017 - 8:08 PM

Hi Lindsey! No, I will not.
I’m thrilled you found me here!

Lynn Schagene August 17, 2017 - 8:05 PM

Jacque you are such a wonderful person. You make me smile always.. I look forward to seeing what you draw.. I agree Art’ing of any kind can heal our soul.. Hugs & Prayers

Lindsey August 17, 2017 - 8:00 PM

I didn’t love those colored pencils even though everyone seemed too. Perhaps someone will suggest a better brand? So glad you are feeling stronger! We forget our voices and words can be so powerful to help heal others and ourselves. 🙂

Amy Huffaker August 17, 2017 - 6:54 PM

Check out she sells hand made art journals, digital art supplies, printable pages & supplies like peerless watercolors, but she also offers online art journaling classes that are super fun!
She has a free newsletter & getting started guide that are full of great ideas & prompts to get your creative juices flowing.

Suz August 17, 2017 - 5:20 PM

Love you so much, Jacque. I had no idea you suffered with this condition. I too have childhood issues and have struggled with anxiety and depression in my adult years. I am so inspired by your courage, your transparency and your vulnerability. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Hugs!

dorothy jones August 17, 2017 - 4:11 PM

blessings to you, Jacque, and yes prismatic pencils are great.

bettyawwad56 August 17, 2017 - 2:26 PM

Hi Jacque, big hugs to you for giving us insight what is going on your life. I have CPRSD. Or RSD as I call it. I know all too well some of the things you are going through. My disorder came after I had a surgery on a rotator cuff. Pain is so very bad at times. Hugs to you sweetheart.

alice August 17, 2017 - 9:42 AM

Bless you, Jacque. You were always one of my favorites on the Q. I think its because your beautiful personality always shined thru. The real you. Thank you for sharing, and I look forward to getting to know you better.
I’m glad you have found tools that help you deal with the CPSTD. All the best to you, my friend.

Jacque August 17, 2017 - 10:34 AM

Thank you Alice! That’s so sweet of you! One thing that was the MOST IMPORTANT to me was being true to myself when you saw me. Some people liked it – some people did not. But that’s life! Each year I’ve found something else to add in to get some “happy distraction” – I just need to make sure and actually do some of them!
Blessings to you! 🙂

Rebecca Koenig August 17, 2017 - 7:47 AM

God’s blessings to you and your family! I pray for you and all of us with PTSD. I thought once you wete treated, it was done and you are healed, boy was I so wrong. Mine like yours has to do with childhood, and adult. Tough, tough.
When I can get myself in the right frame of mind I color, music, happy shows, and nature. My dog helps too.
Thank you for sharing your life with us !

Jacque August 17, 2017 - 10:30 AM

Hi Rebecca,
Yep, it stinks! But finding the best distracting creative outlets has been the best thing to do. Like you, my doggies are such a big help! They always know the right time to snuggle! I love happy shows too. Blessings to you – stay strong my friend! 🙂

Sonja August 17, 2017 - 6:55 AM

Jacque hang in there sister!! I did not realize why you had left QVC I have certainly missed you you will be in my thoughts and prayers ❤️🙏🏼

Jacque August 17, 2017 - 10:27 AM

Hi Sonja! 🙂 Thank you!
My PTSD was not a factor with leaving.
I’ve dealt with PTSD long before I ever came to Pennsylvania. It was here that I got much better and stronger.

Lindsey August 17, 2017 - 8:03 PM

Jacque, Will you be back on the Q? If not, I’m so glad you started this blog! Miss watching you!

Jacque August 17, 2017 - 8:13 PM

Hi Lindsey! No I will not.
But I’m thrilled you found me here!

Jacque August 17, 2017 - 10:35 AM

Prayers and Blessings to you Sonja! 🙂

Jackie August 17, 2017 - 6:17 AM

Jacque your such a strong lady and beautiful inside and out.

Jacque August 17, 2017 - 10:36 AM

Thank you Jackie. 💜

Nancy August 17, 2017 - 4:15 AM

You truly are an amazing giving woman…thank you for sharing! Praying for you and your family.

Debbie Murray August 17, 2017 - 2:58 AM

Prayers and positive thoughts!

Wendy August 17, 2017 - 1:17 AM

God Bless you sweet lady !!!

Chanah August 17, 2017 - 1:12 AM

Hi Jacque…I started watching the live eagle cams. The eaglets bring me peace and calm. If you google eagle cams there are many to choose from. Also arts and crafts, fiber arts are very therapeutic. Keep moving forward. (((Hugs))

Jan Hammond August 17, 2017 - 1:06 AM

Jaque those adult coloring books are nice. They seem to help my granddaughter tremendously. She too has been diagnosed with PTSD. It is very hard to know how to help she is a teenager we do the best we can. Please no you are not alone and I think God has put you in this position to help others while you help yourself. Maybe this is your talent God has given you. I will be praying for you and miss seeing you on qvc you were always so bubbly and I loved it.

HeatherD August 17, 2017 - 12:18 AM

Please check out They have a wonderful program that I have gone through myself. They have patients all over the world and can work with you long distance. They have so many testimonials I know they could help you. Love and prayers!

John Tate (lordhumungus73 on Twitter) August 16, 2017 - 11:45 PM

I’ve never been diagnosed with PTSD, but I have it. Like you, most of it stems from childhood stuff. I’ve been agoraphobic my whole life. Had a nervous breakdown at the age of 26 back in 1999, which had been years in coming. I’ve been recovering ever since, with the help of my family and my doctor. I had a relapse in January of 2015 when I discovered my dead father. We were living together at the time. He had passed away in his sleep. That sent me into a tailspin that ultimately cost me my job six months later. I could go on and on about my various trials, but that’s not the point I want to make. Basically, I empathize with what you’ve gone through and just wanted you to know you’re not alone in the struggle. You’ve always been one of my favorite people to watch and I’m glad you’re making progress on your quality of life. Hang in there, Jacque. Hugs.

Dan Shannon August 16, 2017 - 11:42 PM

Hi, Jacque…my opinion of Prismacolor pencils is that they’re mediocre and a bit overpriced (at least they are at Houston’s Texas Art Supply, anyway. 🙂 ) I’ve been a freelance graphic designer-illustrator for almost 23 years, and prefer to do my illustrations/cartoons on computer, specifically Microsoft Paint, as I don’t really need the “bells-and-whistles” of Adobe Illustrator and/or Photoshop. It also saves me a fortune I’d be spending on drawing paper. Thanks for sharing THE REAL YOU. 🙂

Joann Murawski August 16, 2017 - 11:41 PM

Jacque, you are not alone! I was also dx’d with CPTSD. I have found coloring to be very therapeutic, as well as many different crafts. I am able to destress by trying to let myself get lost in whatever I am creating. Prayers for you, as you seek your own special therapy! Tysm for being brave enough to share your own personal story!

Jane May August 17, 2017 - 7:06 AM

How many times a week do you color and for how long? I would have to make time as I am busy at home.

Darlene August 16, 2017 - 11:29 PM

Hi Jacque, I had panic attacks years ago and I think I left home way too young. I have had a couple of times I was depressed and won’t go into details about that right now. This is what I am going through now. my mom died a horrible death at the hands of the nursing home she was at. Mom had two strokes and could not move much but some how feel out of the bed and broke the C1 and C2 in her neck. Within tow weeks she died. The autopsy showed other injuries as well. I have been in panic ever since she was hurt and especially when she died. I did have to go see a therapist and he is helping along with the meds he put me on. You take care of yourself. Hugs.

Marianne Lamberts August 16, 2017 - 11:24 PM

Thanks for bearing your soul Jackie. If it helps you that’s fantastic. I’m always here to listen. Wishing you the best of today. Hugs, Marianne

Connie Mashburn August 16, 2017 - 11:24 PM

Jacque so grateful to you for sharing your journey with and through PTSD. There is so much more to my story than I am comfortable sharing here. But I can say I have struggled with this along with generalized anxiety disorder as well as major depression. It is a thief with what these illnesses or disorders try to take away from you or even try to define you by. Especially when the PTSD and major depression has been braided into your life since childhood events. I have tried everything out there and refuse to stop trying or letting it control all of me. I am thankful God has not given up on me and in his strength and grace I will not give up ever. I too have tried TMS. Once it seemed to help. Second time it did not. I to have tried EMDR and it just didn’t seem like a good fit for me. I have even tried the hardest one which is ECT. As much as I hate it and procedure beforehand causes me great anxiety. It has begun to work thank God help. I even tried Ketamine infusions but they are so expensive. It is a blessing to have trusted family and friends for support and care. Yet if a person has never experienced the depth of these illness. They can’t understand just how hellish it can be. It is not living abundantly it is simply surviving and that is no way to live. Life is too precious for that. I always have said I was going to write a book on the subject and be real and honest about it. Hope that I will one day. If you are ever interested in helping me with writing one please let me know. It helps so much to have someone who understands and are on the same page. I am a special needs teacher and do some writing. For me it helps me relax and just be able to breathe. Which is sometime hard to do even though it seems like a simple thing. PTSD and depression can make ordinary everyday things that most take for granted be extremely hard. If there is anything I can do to help you, please I would be honored to do so. You didn’t have to share your story and it took great strength and courage to do so. Grateful for you and your goodness to help and share with others. Mental illness still has much of a stigma as it did twenty years ago and that is just sad. It also affects your physical health as it compromises the immune system. No one would choose these feelings and thoughts. I wish and pray the God from pure love will surround you with his blessings and direction in your journey. We have to make a stand for not only ourselves but to our loved ones and neighbors. We are in this together. God Bless. C. Mashburn

Roseann August 16, 2017 - 11:11 PM

You are such a sweetheart…stay strong

Charlotte Hughey August 16, 2017 - 11:09 PM

My husband got me a little dog, that I call Rosie. I named her Rosie, because she was the sunshine that I needed to deal with my PTSD. I also got counselling and learned some breathing techniques that have helped. You can get better, but it is a daily struggle. Thank you for sharing. It is comforting to know that I am not alone and you are not alone in your struggle.

Susan Block August 16, 2017 - 10:57 PM

Thank you for sharing this, dear Jacque, and for being the loving, caring, beautiful person you are! I am currently battling BC and I endure some of the similar symptoms. Being connected as friends is a treasured gift. I love you, dear Jacque. 💜✨😘

Marj Roberts August 16, 2017 - 10:54 PM

Jacque I started doing adult paint by number kits. I’ve done 3 so far and I find I’m in my happy place when I’m painting If you go on they have tons in all price ranges. I look for the ones that have the best reviews and the picture content.

Marj Roberts

Tammy Vaznis August 16, 2017 - 10:52 PM

You are so real and so genuine. I suffer from anxiety and a lot of phobias. When I think I am alone I get Hope from others such as yourself. Thank you and I think you are such a beautiful person inside and out. ❤️

Ann Marie Kleiss August 16, 2017 - 10:50 PM

Jacque, sure miss seeing you on tv but I’m glad to be connected this way.
I became physically disabled 7 years ago and today I use a walker to get around but I can not do anything else. No driving, no laundry, no cooking, no cleaning, etc. I know to some this sounds great, well it’s not. I have a husband who stepped up to do it all and work full time. He is my hero!!
I wish I could at least do the crossword puzzle or cryptogram in the daily paper but I can’t write either so everything I do is done on the computer or my phone. My husband keeps me going. Everybody else doesn’t bother with me and I was always there to help anybody. Oh well.

Ann Marie Kleiss

Barbara Thibeault August 16, 2017 - 10:35 PM

I use quilting and embroidery….,It is very creative and takes your mind totally off other things..I have also done water colors and pen and ink…..

Lauren August 16, 2017 - 10:32 PM

You are brave, kind and gracious to share all of this about you. You have so many admirers and followers that will be your cheerleaders! Just let us know what you need for us to help you.

D'Ann August 16, 2017 - 10:20 PM

you and those whom you love are in my thoughts…my orayers…and my heart – every day… <3 <3 <3

Alana Robbins August 16, 2017 - 10:19 PM

two things: 1. you rock ❤️ 2. caran d’ache supracolor soft colored pencils are the best! terry and christy approved 🙂

b reed August 16, 2017 - 10:15 PM

Love ya Jacque, and i agree being able to be open about it can be helpful and give you some strength. i am proud of you for sharing ! God bless you

Kim Thompson August 16, 2017 - 10:15 PM

Jacque ~ you have always been a strong woman that I admire. Arts & craft project have always gotten me through my darkest days or worked as a wonderful stress reliever. I would love to send you a sample pack of what I currently work with as a way to provide inspiration and brighten your day 🙂


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