PTSD does not define who I am. It just happens to be a component of who I am.
There are several components to what’s caused my PTSD (or as my doctors have said that I have CPTSD – Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – which has not formally been listed as a diagnosis, yet.). The majority stem from childhood. Others came about in my adult years.
However, it’s something I’ve always dealt with – and it’s never caused any issues with working – I’ve never allowed it to. It’s just nice to be able to freely talk about it now that I feel so much stronger. It’s cathartic – both in helping myself vocalize it -AND- hopefully helping anyone who needs to know that they’re not alone.
Several of you suggested EMDR treatments (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) in your comments. I tried it over 10 years ago – but I couldn’t focus on the sound that I thought was “right” – so I never felt I was doing it correctly. Maybe I should look into it again? A lot could have changed in 10 years with EMDR. I’ve also done TMS treatments (Transcranial magnetic stimulation) – that I believe helped a little but it was too costly to continue.
Working on getting stress levels down is my top priority. Stress builds up and up and up over the years – and living that way isn’t living. So many people are stressed out – from work, family, health, life, etc……and we need to have time to just step back and breathe. There are things that are not worth being stressed over – but we might not have an option. Finding any small step to bring happiness into your life should be where you start your focus.
Think about it for a moment: What puts an instant smile on your face when you think about it?
Try to think about those things, or incorporating more of those things into your life. Even if it’s just pictures, videos, sounds, or scents that relate to that happy emotion.
I think that’s why Art Therapy has been so helpful to me. It’s creative and allows your mind to open up and create anything. You don’t have to know what you’re drawing – just start drawing! You could start with a single line on a page – or a circle. Anything. From there, you’ll see something you could create from that form. Certified Art Therapists and Psycholgists can then help you interpret your art. It’s really amazing. When you start to see the meanings into your own drawings – it’s a big eye opener.
I haven’t been drawing lately. I need to kick myself into gear and get started again. Sometimes buying a new drawing pad or colored pencils gets me going! Yes, I enjoy shopping! And if you know of some great art supplies OR projects that I should try please let me know! (Are the Prismacolor pencils as good as everyone says they are???)
I want you to know ME – the REAL ME. So, I’ll be sharing things about myself from time to time – but it will not be the focus of what you’re going to find here.
Thank you again – and remember that each and everyone of you are amazing.
I’m Blessed to know all of you.
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